Updates

I haven't done nearly well enough with keeping up with this information so here are updates since last time. I had given blood again and my hormone levels came back in the 14,000's! I still need to look back at what I recorded for Silas, but this seems SO high. It was additional confirmation that I might be having multiples along with other strange signs that kept coming up. Besides the medical factors, I was amazed at how I was being inindated with TWINS! I was holding meetings for twins, a parent brought twins to a meeting, etc. It was definitely in my face.

My first ultrasound appointment was scheduled for 11/3 - my 33rd birthday! What a present! BJ went with me which was a good thing because it ended up being more emotional than I anticipated. Immediately after the ultrasound began it was obvious that there was not one, but two sacs. I can't say that we had hoped for twins or that I think it would be easy, but it was exciting to think about the possibility of TWO babies. However, not long after the two sacs were identified it was evident that something wasn't right. The technician continued to probe for anything that would indicate two babies and didn't come up with anything. She indicated that sometimes a baby can be hiding; however, the doctor told us not to be optimistic that there would be a baby since we should have been able to see a heartbeat by now. The positive was that the 2nd sac held a perfect little babe with a heart rate of 122 beats per minute.

A follow-up appointment was scheduled for today (11/18 - 9 weeks). I was very anxious about going to the appointment. I didn't have any reason to think things weren't going well, but the time between appointments is always frustrating. It is so reassuring to hear that heart beat. It was obvious that there is only one baby today as the 2nd sac hadn't continued to grow. The healthy baby had a heart rate of 178 beats per minute. This seemed high to me! The technician also kept saying that she thought the baby looked "big" which lead Amanda to the nickname, "Tubby T." I'm not sure I'm on board with this one if there is a cute little girl in there. The doctor was pleased with my progress and noted that the sac is slightly small but this isn't atypical with twins. I have officially been released from Wash U which is bittersweet. I have never had a doctor that made me feel so supported and we are so very thankful for Dr. Keller's intervention. My next appointment will be with the Generalists Group at Center for Advanced Medicine. I will deliver in St. Louis at Barnes Jewish Hospital.

Things are moving along. I have never been more exhausted in my life, but so excited for Silas to be a big brother. Today he received a choo choo has a gift from the baby. We're still not sure he gets it.

First Blood Test

It's funny how quickly you forget all things that go into the process of having a baby. It had completely slipped my mind that I needed to do a blood test for confirmation. In true Kelly fashion, I had arranged with the doctor's office to have my script for blood work faxed directly to LabCorp in Maryville. Once I arrived, they informed me that they didn't have anything and couldn't draw my blood. This made me relatively grouchy. The doctor's office had closed for the day so I had to wait until the next morning and opted to have the fax sent to work so it would be in my possession. So, on 10/19 I had blood drawn which confirmed a beta level of 1,094. Now, I will be completely honest, even after questioning I'm not sure I completely get what this level means. The nurse informed me that if I had given blood on 10/15 (one month from my last period) then they would have expected the number to be 100. I asked why my number was so high and questioned if this was an indication of multiples. The nurse said the number was high and confirmed at least one baby, but couldn't say more until I give more blood. So....I give blood again this Wednesday and then they said we get to have our first ultrasound the week of Halloween! I'm so excited!!! The cramping has stopped which is nice, but I feel SO tired and keep having crazy dreams. I've also noticed a decrease in appetite, but I'm not nauseous - thank goodness. So far, so good!

Hooray!

I'M PREGNANT!!! Oh, it really is such a surreal feeling. I was super anxious Friday night knowing that I could "test" the next morning. Silas had a rough night and ended up in bed with us around 4:30 am. Around 7, I woke up and really had to "go," but I knew if I got up there was a chance of waking everyone up. I couldn't wait any longer and crept into the bathroom. Fortunately, the three minute wait to get my results seemed to fly by and I stared in amazement at the blue stick that read, "pregnant." I'm not sure what it is about those tests, but I found myself blinking to be sure that I was reading it correctly. The next thing that popped in my mind is that I had to tell BJ. The problem is that I had surprised him with the news of our pregnancy with Si, but he hadn't been home when I tested. I immediately started trying to think up some amazing way to break the news, and finally snuck out of the bedroom to take a picture of the test. My options were to hide the test and purchase a "big bro" shirt for Silas that day while BJ was in Belleville taking an HVAC class and surprise him when he got home or make him breakfast in bed. I couldn't stand to make him wait so I dashed down the stairs to the basement to get a bag of pancake mix. While in the basement, I heard the floor shaking from above and knew that Silas had gotten up and let the dogs out of our bedroom. I ran back up the stairs, darted into the kitchen, and asked Silas to take something to dada. I handed him the stick and he took off for the bedroom. I chased him with the camera, but failed to get any good shots in the dark. I told BJ that Silas had a present for him and BJ asked if he was "holding pee." Goodness. He finally read the test and smiled. I patted him on the chest and told him, "good job."

We told Silas that mommy has a baby in her belly. He has been super cute about the whole thing, but is clearly clueless. He keeps asking, "where did the baby go?" When given the choice of a brother or sister, he chooses a sister. Time will tell. I really can't say that I have an opinion one way or the other. I think it would be really cool for Si to have a brother or a sister. I am just so hopeful for a healthy pregnancy. I am trying to eat better and drink lots of liquids. The official due date per babycenter.com is 6.21.12. Eleven days different than Si's due date.

I'm waiting until at least our first doctor's appointment to break the news. I put a smiley face on facebook and Amanda knew immediately what this meant. She called me with excitement, so just like with Si - she is the first to know. :) I have been tired, but no other miserable side effects at this point. I am just so happy.

Progress

I gave blood again this past Friday (10/7) and anxiously awaited the results over the weekend. I'm trying not to become overly hopeful so I don't get my heart broken, but it's a struggle because this month I could really FEEL when I ovulated. I KNEW my progesterone levels were going to be better. Alas, I had to contact Wash U to get the results from work because I dropped my cellphone in the port-a-pottie at the Kelly Miller Circus over the weekend and haven't receive my replacement phone. They giggled at my call today and looked in my chart for the results. My progesterone was at an 8.7 (still below the goal of 10, but progress from the month before). The waiting game continues, and if this isn't the month then they will increase my dose again next month.

3

Well, I didn't take it as hard this time as last. I suppose it's that because I had heard the concern with my progesterone level. So...here we go into month 3! The doctor doubled my dosage of Clomid and I'm taking three big pills each morning this round. Selfishly, I would REALLY like for this to be the month so I could spend most of the summer with the babe. I'm trying not to focus on that too much though since I truly don't have any control over this situation. For now, all I can do is hope and wish that this will happen. Third time is a charm, right?

Pins and Needles

I'm not sure whether there is a direct correlation with my pregnancy efforts and others getting pregnant, or if I am just more sensitive to these occurrences when I am actually trying. Seriously, EVERYONE is pregnant and it's making me more anxious. Of course, I am super happy for all of them, but there is this twisting in my stomach that makes me feel jealous too. I want it to be me! Again...patience...not my best virtue, but a completely necessary one. Last night I was looking at pictures of Silas as a baby and it made my heart ache. I can't wait to have another little bundle to hold and watch grow. As stressful as parenthood is, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Sometimes I am truly amazed by the love inside me as I watch Silas do something new for the first time or when he is just being absolutely goofy. That kid sure does make me laugh. He'll be a great big brother.

Despite my jealousy to join my pregger friends, I must say that I think it will be totally cool to be pregnant with them! Probably the most amazing story is that of my friends Beth and Jon. They have two little boys both via IVF and just found out they are pregnant naturally with their third. So amazing and crazy all at the same time! Baby 2 is going to have some fun friends to play with.

It's a few more days before I get to take a pregnancy test or start my period. I gave blood this past week to check my progesterone levels which is a story in itself. It was open house night at the high school and some co-workers and I were going to dinner in between the normal work day and the evening activities. They dropped me off to give blood and I realized I didn't have an ID or health insurance card. They said they couldn't draw my blood unless they had my health insurance card. Fortunately, I ran across the hall to Dr. Midkiff's office and they were able to give me a copy. I was a frantic mess. I told the secretary she was truly my hero for the day and had done her good deed of the day. So thankful.

Dr. Keller's office called and said my progesterone levels were 4.6 and above 3 is ovulatory. Unfortunately, they like to see a level 10 if taking Clomid, so they said I could be pregnancy or they'll up my dosage the next round.

I'm fearful I'll be upset again if this isn't the month. We got pregnant with Silas on month 2. I'm trying to be realistic, but I'm ready for this to happen. Until something happens I'll just be waiting on pins and needles...

Not this month...

I had my consultation appointment with the doctors at the Center for Advanced Medicine. In general, they said that there wasn't any specific form of intervention for my primary issues from my previous pregnancy (preeclampsia and hemorrhaging), but both required for me to be monitored closely to determine if I will deal with either the second time around. However, I am at an increased risk for both since they occurred previously, but there aren't any forms of prevention. They said that it was up to me whether I wanted to continue coming to the high risk OBGYN or if I wanted to be referred to another doctor that could handle my issues appropriately. This is a decision I'll discuss further with Dr. Keller when I see her next.

Sadly, I am not pregnant this month which was more disappointing than I had anticipated. Part of me "felt" and "believed" it had worked this time. It was crushing to discover that it hadn't worked. I had a good cry and I reminded myself that I have a very big blessing in my life named Silas and if I am given the opportunity to be a mother again then I will be so thankful, but I must be patient for that time. So, I've picked myself up and called Washington University today to let them know my update. Sandy the secretary had asked why they hadn't looked at my progesterone levels during July which was surprising because they hadn't asked me to do this...she said it was okay because I had ovulated, but this information would have guided them in knowing if they needed to change my dose of Clomid. So, for now, they refilled my Clomid and we'll start the process again tomorrow. I became pregnant with Si during the second cycle of Clomid, so time will tell....

Waiting...

Well, since I last blogged, I received word from Dr. Keller that my blood work came back "fine" although I was "not ovulatory." NO SHOCKER THERE! I wasn't expecting anything different. So, she wrote the prescription for Clomid and the process has officially begun. I was very excited that on day 18 of my cycle I FINALLY ovulated. I was beginning to get anxious! I giggle after writing this because my main intention of documenting my thoughts, emotions, etc. through this process is so our children have access to what it took to bring them into the world. Do my children really want to hear that I ovulated? Not to mention that this means that myself and their father had "relations" (giggling again) to continue this process. Oh well. It is what it is. As much I would love to be a fertile myrtle, I have come to terms with the fact that I am so very thankful that medical technology allows me to have children. Unfortunately, the monotony of the process comes along with it. Totally worth it though when we finally get to have another little bundle of joy to hold. I am very anxious to find out if it worked this month! Tomorrow I have a consultation with a high risk OB in St. Louis at the Center for Advanced Medicine. Things are definitely moving along...

Here we go again...

After much discussion and decision making, we have decided it's time to expand the Thomason family and make our little man, Silas, a big brother! Today, we had our first appointment with Dr. Keller at Washington University Reproductive Endocrinology. Some of our friends had questioned why we wouldn't try longer or just work with our local OB, but even when I made the appointment I knew we had made the right decision. The staff and doctors at Wash U have always made me feel so comfortable and I love that!

Today was wonderful! The anxiety I had before was diminished and we spent our appointment reminiscing and sharing highlights and concerns of my previous pregnancy and delivery. Upon telling Dr. Keller that the delivery bed was tilted upside down and my feet put in the air to push due to my own low oxygen and Silas' heart rate dropping, coupled with massive hemoraging post delivery, she said that we "deserved" to have a better experience and she is referring us to a high risk OB in St. Louis. I'm actually excited to hear what they have to say! This will mean balancing our already crazy schedules with doctor appointments across the river, but I think it's worth it for my own sanity which will ultimately benefit Baby 2! I wonder if we'll come up with some fun nickname like we did with Silas (aka, Baby T)? Other topics of discussion today were participation in research with Wash U...no biggie really, we're just donating our additional "fluids" to them for analysis. I figure if it expands research and could potentially help another family then it is worthwhile!

Dr. Keller is sending me for a blood analysis to examine potential concerns related to the hemoraging, and to get updated progesterone levels related to ovulation. Once we get the go ahead she'll write the prescription for Clomid. She said there was no reason to believe I don't still have PCOS and is hopeful that this process will work the same as before! We are too!

It's very exciting to think that in the next couple of months we could be pregnant again! I'm excited for Silas to be a big brother. He really is very sweet with other babies (patting their heads and putting binkies in their mouths). I know he'll be a great big brother!

I am also hopeful that we will have less complications with this pregnancy than the last! I am torn between my desires for a specific gender. It would be so cool for Silas to have a brother, but I am also very intrigued to experience the world of pink and bows! We have discussed potentially being "surprised" at delivery and not finding out the gender sooner!

If things go as planned, I know this is all going to happen very fast! So I am just going to hang on tight and enjoy the ride!