My Little Gummy Bear *8 weeks, 2 days*

We had another follow-up appointment at Washington University today. It was really amazing to see how much the baby has changed in just two short weeks (now 18.1 mm). The baby is developing its arm and leg buds at this point. It even appears that the baby has chubby cheeks and a pudgy little belly. The ultrasound tech was telling us how cute our baby was. I told her she must tell everyone that, and she said that our baby is more photogenic than most. I sort of think the baby looks like a gummy bear right now, and we were giggling about the membrane surrounding the baby because it looks like "bubble boy." I guess humor is important through this process. The heart rate was normal (176 bpm), and they used color technology to show us the blood flow to the heart. Technology is pretty amazing!

We were feeling relatively relieved (or at least I know I was) until we met with the doctor. She said the baby is developing normal, but there is a cyst on my umbilical cord. The doctor said that she consulted with her partner and they felt that there wasn't anything to worry about, but she would be sending a note to my local doctor that I needed to have another sonogram at approximately 11 weeks to examine the cyst. She also commented that with increased technology they are able to do genetic testing at that point and examine the folds on the back of the neck. I've been pretty upset, and spent the afternoon crying and sleeping. I looked up information when I got home, and much like most research there is mixed information. Some articles stated that these cysts disappear by the second trimester and there is no negative impact. Another study said that if the cyst persists into the second trimester (and also depending on the location of the cyst), that 20% of the births result in chromosomal abnormalities (specifically trisomy 13 and 18).

Sometimes it's hard to imagine life just with the addition of a baby, let alone a baby with special needs. It would have been irresponsible to not acknowledge that things could potentially go awry, but it's still really hard hearing it. My hopes are that the cyst will either disappear in the next few weeks, or we'll be in the fortunate 80% that go on to have a typically developing baby.

I've been anxious throughout this process in general, but was relieved to see Baby T again today. Everything is developing normally and the doctor said that once a baby makes it to 8 weeks with a strong heart beat, there is only a 5% chance of miscarriage. I know the next few weeks are going to be difficult, but I have to keep telling myself that the next ultrasound will reveal that everything is perfect!

Baby T's first photo shoot....*6 weeks/1 day*

Yesterday was our first sonogram and we're happy to report that the doctor said everything looks great! Baby T is still pretty small, only 1/5 of an inch long. Just being able to see and hear that little thumping heart beat made everything seem more real. His heart beat was 115 beats per minute, which is right where it should be. BJ was pretty quiet through the process, and I could tell he was really taking everything in. I know he is very excited, and sometimes it can be hard to express that much emotion. He was very supportive and held my hand throughout the sonogram. We called our parents to fill them in on the news, and interestingly, both of our mothers asked if there was just one baby. As we did use fertility drugs, it had crossed our minds that it could be a possibility. That being said, we have just one little sweet pea that will be entering our lives in a few months. Our next sonogram is in two weeks, October 30th. As long as everything goes well, we'll be released from Washington University back to our local doctor. It's sort of bitter sweet, as I feel comfortable with our doctor at Wash U and feel as though she was the only person in a very long time that really listened to my concerns. Without her, I fear we may not be pregnant now. However, I know that being released means that things are progressing as they should.

Coming Out!

Well....against my better judgement, we've come out! It's SO early in this process, but two blood tests have shown a positive pregnancy. It's just too exciting to contain that kind of information from the people that we love and care about. After taking 15 months for this to FINALLY happen, it just makes you want to scream it at the top of a mountain.

We'd already told immediate family, and while everyone was very happy for us and super supportive, these are some of our favorite comments to remember:

Grandpa Jennings: When asked to keep the news to himself until further notice, he said he'd tell others that the goofy smile on his face was gas.

Grandpa Thomason: He said he couldn't talk because he was smiling so big!

Uncle Darrin: He told BJ that he knew he had it in him.

Uncle Bryan: He told Addison that she was going to have a new cousin and he said her head spun around and her eyes got big.

It really is an indescribable feeling to tell everyone about such a momentous event! We're truly blessed to have such amazing friends and family!

You're going to be a daddy!!! (9/30/08)

BJ came home last night around midnight. I frantically made sure both the dogs had on their special attire. I grabbed the camera and thought it’d be fun to record the event. Dunkel rushed toward the door to greet BJ and Guinners followed. I went around the corner myself to catch him leaning over to read their bandanas. He looked up at me and smiled. I told him, “you’re going to be a daddy!” We hugged and BJ said, “I told you I had a feeling.” I shared that he had hoped his surprise text would be that I was pregnant. He opened up his gift box and giggled at my “sticks.” I told him he needed to keep June 9th free. This prompted him to think about our child’s zodiac sign, which sort of surprised me. He and the baby will both be Gemini’s. We sat on the couch for a bit and I even showed him some baby bedding that I’ve already been checking out. We also reviewed our baby names spread sheet. I think it is going to be a REALLY tough decision!

Today I had a surprise for myself in store. My school secretary buzzed my office and asked if I had a few minutes. I told her I had a couple of minutes and headed up to the office thinking there must be a child in a melt down or something. To my surprise, I was greeted by a dozen red roses with a card that simply read, “I love you!” This did put me in a bit of a predicament as this lead my co-workers to ask the typical questions, “Is it your birthday?”…” Is it your anniversary?” I told them I guessed that it was just because. When I walked past the BD classroom with my roses, the kiddos instantly noticed. One of them was sitting at his desk with his mouth gaping open. Another said, “Mrs. Thomason has a secret admirer.” Their teacher said, “I hope it’s Mr. Thomason.” When I returned later for group, the teacher said, “Are you knocked up?” I was unable to hide it and swore him to secrecy.

Right after school I went for my blood test. My doctor’s office said that my test needed to be over 100. I don’t even know what she was referring to. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow. I’ll take another blood test a week from today and the number needs to have doubled. I guess they’re just making sure that it is a strong pregnancy, or at least that is what they said. The following week I get to have my first ultrasound! Things are so exciting right now!!!

Am I really? (9/29/08)

What a day! I started feeling some anxiety as I knew that my cycle was coming to an end, although I felt like Aunt Flow was coming as normal. My friend Amanda sent me a text essentially asking me if I had taken a test. I thought this was humorous because I had been at work for over an hour. There wasn’t much I was going to do about it at that point. I hadn’t taken a test because it was still technically one more day until I should test. Her texts became more persistent and I found out after school this was because her co-workers at BASSC who knew of my struggles were anxious to know. We discussed it but I was convinced to wait until the next day. At 7:47 pm, I received a text that simply said, “well?” I gave into the pressure and headed to the bathroom. I was even talking out loud to myself commenting that it was ridiculous that I was going against my gut instincts and that I knew I couldn’t be pregnant. Well….minutes later I found out that I AM! I’m still in shock and I’m not sure I believe it. After such a long wait, it’s so hard to believe that it has finally happened!!! I was shaking all over and I wanted to take a picture. I started crying, and went back to the test three times to confirm that it actually said pregnant. Then I grabbed the package and read the instructions again…this is quite ridiculous because the screen says PREGNANT! It’s just crazy! I decided I had to text Amanda back a message with the result because she had received texts from when I ovulated. I sent the message and sat on the floor to hug Guinness while I cried. My phone rang and Amanda was screaming. I couldn’t even understand her. I told her to calm down because it wasn’t good for J.R. (her baby which is due about a month from now). I finally could make out her saying, “Kelly is pregnant!” She was crying too! While I wanted to tell BJ first, I had to tell her because I wouldn’t have even tested without her persistence. I instantly set to work to have a creative way to tell the daddy to be. I put “the stick” in a shiny gift box with a note on top that said, “Surprise for Daddy.” Then, I hopped in the car and ran to Wal-Mart to grab some materials for a craft project. I found some iron on letters and made bandanas for Guinness and Dunkel that read, “Big Bro.” After I was finished, I decided to confirm the earlier test and took a second. Yep, still pregnant… I sent BJ a text and told him that I had a surprise for him and he needed to hurry home. I wonder if he has any idea. It’s not atypical for me to send him messages like that if I’ve gotten him a new shirt at the store or made ice cream or something. Only time will tell…I may try to record his reaction. The plan is to release the dogs when he comes inside. I can’t imagine how he is going to react. I think he will cry…

At this point, I really want to call my doctor and find out what needs to happen next. The news will be kept on the down low. I’m thinking of making cards on Kodak.com for the ‘rents. Other than immediate family I’m hesitant to tell others just in case there are complications.