Wow! I've been awful about keeping up with updates. Today is officially day 25 of bed rest and unfortunately I've become quite lethargic. It's difficult to be motivated to do anything when you're stuck in bed, but that is about to come to an end. Tonight I'm being admitted to the hospital at 7 pm. The goal is to have my cervix softened so they'll be inserting a string that has cervadel on it. Apparently, this has to be in place for 12 hours so we'll be spending the night at the hospital. In the morning, they'll give me pitocin to force contractions. I'm still feeling unsure about this whole process, but I guess it just falls into the unknown territory...something you can read about and talk to others about, but not fully ever feel prepared. I still wish I'd be able to use some strategies to help me work through the pain, but I have to let that go. I've come to terms with the fact that I may just have to use medication, but an epidural still scares me just as much as the pain of childbirth. In one of our classes, they recommended coming up with a "safety" word to allow your coach to know that you really needed the epidural and you weren't just having a weak moment. So, last night I came up with "bananas"...not sure where it came from, but BJ can't stand bananas so I guess it will symbolize that I can't stand the pain. From what I've read, pitocin slows the natural production of endorphines in the body which is the reason why labor is so much more difficult when you're induced. Since I was dilated to 1 1/2 as of Wednesday at my appointment, so hopefully my body will cooperate with this process and indicate in some way that it's ready for this.
It's been a drama packed week and Baby T's arrival will be a blessing amidst it all. Sienna had her final heart surgery this past Tuesday, so my parents have been all over the state. The plan was for them to come to our house once I was being induced, but my mom came on Wednesday because I was so distressed over us finding out BJ is being laid off from his job at detention as of June 10th. We were definitely thrown for a loop and it's horrible timing. To add to the fun for my parents, they're typically in Boise, Idaho celebrating our niece Addison's birthday (5/24) which they were unable to do this year. So, we've been fortunate to have my mom's help this week. It was nice having the reassurance that if something happened she'd be here to take me to the hospital and also someone to talk to rather than being overwhelmed with my daily I'm paranoia. Pops has been driving back and forth to Peoria every day to visit with Sienna, and also helping to care for Aunt Lillian (she turned 95 on 5/18). Drama, drama, drama!
I'm just ready to meet my little man and hope with all my might that he is healthy! I know in the upcoming weeks we're going to be faced with challenges we've never known before. I wish it was just the addition of a newborn to the mix, but we'll also be working on the job hunt for BJ and learning how to live on one income. We'll make it though!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
Today is Day 10 of bed rest which has left me with plenty of time to reflect on soon-t0-be motherhood. It's amazing to me how much you can care about someone who you've never even met. While this has given me a chance to think about all the fun and exciting things that the future holds, it is also difficult to not worry about all the things that could go wrong. I truly want Baby T to be born with every opportunity to have a happy and healthy life. The anticipation of seeing him and knowing that he has developed appropriately just seems to be mounting these days. I'm so ready for him to be here, even though I know that he is where he should be and needs this time for all his little systems to grow and improve.
We've had lots of support from friends and family through this process, especially our parents. They've made numerous trips and phone calls to check up on all of us. Nana Jennings came and stayed with us for a few days and made food for after Baby T's arrival. It was nice having her here, not just for the help, but also for the company. She got to go with me for one emergency hospital trip because Baby T's kick counts were too low and also for my reguarly weekly check up.
These emergency trips are truly the most stressful, and fills you with a bit of fear and excitement. Of course, fear, that something could be wrong; but also excitement that maybe this process could start moving faster if necessary. Once again everything was fine, and I think that Baby T may be giving me a taste of our future. We get to the hospital and he just kicks away. It's been interesting meeting some of the nurses, as it is truly them that will be helping me through the delivery process. I've actually been impressed with all but one. My mom got to be present for the one I didn't like. On this particular day, Baby T's heart rate was fluctuating up and down and she asked me if my baby had been diagnosed with arrythmia. Seriously? Another thing to worry about? *sigh* I tried not to take her too seriously though, as this had never been mentioned previously and I just had this vibe that she wasn't the most experienced nurse I had worked with. I was reassured of this today during a routine NST, as the heart rate fluctuated the same so I asked to see what this nurse had to say. She showed me the charts that they monitor which showed that when Baby T kicks, his heart rate goes up and then returns to normal. She said it was just like when we increase activity then our heart rate goes up and then returns to normal. Sure makes sense to me.
At my weekly appointment, we talked with Dr. Midkiff about a set date for induction so that I could have a goal in sight. The other concern is that Sienna is having her third, and final, heart surgery on May 19th in Peoria which means Papa and Nana J will be required to be in two cities at once for very big events in our lives right now. For now, she said we would shoot for May 20th which would be one day past my 37th week. I was disappointed because she said that mothers with preeclampsia are not allowed out of bed to use alternatives for assisting the birthing process (i.e., walking, birth ball, etc.). She said that I would be induced using pitocin. Should my cervix not be softened then I'd have to come in and have cervadel used to soften my cervix first. I also expressed concerns wtih the use of an epidural, but my fear at this point is that this might be my only possibility considering I won't have other methods at hand to work through the pain. I figure I need to just be open minded and see how it goes. It's so hard to really have a handle on things when you have no prior knowledge.
Honestly, I'm pretty fearful about the whole process at this point. I've never had any kind of illness that required even staying in the hospital. I know BJ will be there for me though, and I have to trust the hospital staff. I also have to keep telling myself that the end result is Baby T FINALLY being here! It won't be long now!
We've had lots of support from friends and family through this process, especially our parents. They've made numerous trips and phone calls to check up on all of us. Nana Jennings came and stayed with us for a few days and made food for after Baby T's arrival. It was nice having her here, not just for the help, but also for the company. She got to go with me for one emergency hospital trip because Baby T's kick counts were too low and also for my reguarly weekly check up.
These emergency trips are truly the most stressful, and fills you with a bit of fear and excitement. Of course, fear, that something could be wrong; but also excitement that maybe this process could start moving faster if necessary. Once again everything was fine, and I think that Baby T may be giving me a taste of our future. We get to the hospital and he just kicks away. It's been interesting meeting some of the nurses, as it is truly them that will be helping me through the delivery process. I've actually been impressed with all but one. My mom got to be present for the one I didn't like. On this particular day, Baby T's heart rate was fluctuating up and down and she asked me if my baby had been diagnosed with arrythmia. Seriously? Another thing to worry about? *sigh* I tried not to take her too seriously though, as this had never been mentioned previously and I just had this vibe that she wasn't the most experienced nurse I had worked with. I was reassured of this today during a routine NST, as the heart rate fluctuated the same so I asked to see what this nurse had to say. She showed me the charts that they monitor which showed that when Baby T kicks, his heart rate goes up and then returns to normal. She said it was just like when we increase activity then our heart rate goes up and then returns to normal. Sure makes sense to me.
At my weekly appointment, we talked with Dr. Midkiff about a set date for induction so that I could have a goal in sight. The other concern is that Sienna is having her third, and final, heart surgery on May 19th in Peoria which means Papa and Nana J will be required to be in two cities at once for very big events in our lives right now. For now, she said we would shoot for May 20th which would be one day past my 37th week. I was disappointed because she said that mothers with preeclampsia are not allowed out of bed to use alternatives for assisting the birthing process (i.e., walking, birth ball, etc.). She said that I would be induced using pitocin. Should my cervix not be softened then I'd have to come in and have cervadel used to soften my cervix first. I also expressed concerns wtih the use of an epidural, but my fear at this point is that this might be my only possibility considering I won't have other methods at hand to work through the pain. I figure I need to just be open minded and see how it goes. It's so hard to really have a handle on things when you have no prior knowledge.
Honestly, I'm pretty fearful about the whole process at this point. I've never had any kind of illness that required even staying in the hospital. I know BJ will be there for me though, and I have to trust the hospital staff. I also have to keep telling myself that the end result is Baby T FINALLY being here! It won't be long now!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Paranoid?
Well, yesterday didn't feel much like bed rest, in fact, it was a pretty hectic day! In addition to arranging my leave from work, I also had to work with the doctor to get some of our appointments scheduled. We had two appointments yesterday. We were scheduled for an ultrasound to look at Baby T's growth and fluid and fortunately both looked good according to the technician. She estimated Baby T to currently weigh 6 lbs. 6 oz. This may just be a blessing that we're not going to make it 40 weeks as babies gain approximately 1/2 a pound per week...that would be a pretty BIG baby! :) We have a follow-up appointment with my OB on Thursday who will share with us her insights into the ultrasound.
Monday afternoon we went to the hospital to have a non-stress test and things looked good for Baby T. However, my blood pressure had increased and they kept us a bit longer for monitoring. They determined it was due to stress, as I'd been on the phone with our insurance company trying to figure out where we could get our blood pressure monitor which they'd told us was covered 100% by our plan. It's pretty ironic that my blood pressure was increasing because I couldn't find a blood pressure monitor. I can laugh about it now, but after getting the run around for about two hours yesterday, I was done!
Today, we had an in-home nurse come to our house and show me how to use a blood pressure monitor and use dip sticks to check the protein in my urine. She also had a doppler system with her and it was cute watching Guinness and Dunkel listening to the thumping of Baby T's heart. It's going to be so interesting to see how they interact with him.
I spent most of this afternoon napping, which was nice. I woke up and asked BJ to assist me with taking my blood pressure because I didn't want to move from bed and hoped to get an accurate reading. Unfortunately, it was up again (150/90)! I also felt like I had a headache, had a pain in my lower abdomen, and my vision was blurred in my right eye. All of these are symptoms and signs that things are going well for preeclampsia, so I called the doctor and went back to the hospital again! It's beginning to make me feel crazy and paranoid, but after being there for a little over an hour my blood pressure returned to normal and we were allowed to go home once the results of my blood tests confirmed things were fine. The nurse told me that if I have blurred vision then I definitely need to call them.
I fear this is going to be a long couple of weeks before Baby T's arrival! I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not very good at bed rest, however I don't have a choice.
Monday afternoon we went to the hospital to have a non-stress test and things looked good for Baby T. However, my blood pressure had increased and they kept us a bit longer for monitoring. They determined it was due to stress, as I'd been on the phone with our insurance company trying to figure out where we could get our blood pressure monitor which they'd told us was covered 100% by our plan. It's pretty ironic that my blood pressure was increasing because I couldn't find a blood pressure monitor. I can laugh about it now, but after getting the run around for about two hours yesterday, I was done!
Today, we had an in-home nurse come to our house and show me how to use a blood pressure monitor and use dip sticks to check the protein in my urine. She also had a doppler system with her and it was cute watching Guinness and Dunkel listening to the thumping of Baby T's heart. It's going to be so interesting to see how they interact with him.
I spent most of this afternoon napping, which was nice. I woke up and asked BJ to assist me with taking my blood pressure because I didn't want to move from bed and hoped to get an accurate reading. Unfortunately, it was up again (150/90)! I also felt like I had a headache, had a pain in my lower abdomen, and my vision was blurred in my right eye. All of these are symptoms and signs that things are going well for preeclampsia, so I called the doctor and went back to the hospital again! It's beginning to make me feel crazy and paranoid, but after being there for a little over an hour my blood pressure returned to normal and we were allowed to go home once the results of my blood tests confirmed things were fine. The nurse told me that if I have blurred vision then I definitely need to call them.
I fear this is going to be a long couple of weeks before Baby T's arrival! I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not very good at bed rest, however I don't have a choice.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Bedrest it is...
Well...the results are in...I officially have preeclampsia. That being said, the doctor has put me on bedrest until delivery. The goal still remains for me to make it to 37 weeks and then be induced at that time. It should be interesting to hear the date that the doctor chooses, as our families are known for members sharing birthdays. For instance, my brother and niece Jasmyne share a birthday and BJ shares his birthday with our nephew Alex. Those in the running to share birthdays with Baby T are my Great Aunt Lillian and BJ's brother Ryan on May 18th or our niece Addison on May 24th. We'll see what happens, but our doctor typically schedules deliveries and surgeries on Mondays so the 18th is looking promising.
It sounds like I will have a few activities to keep me busy in the upcoming weeks. I will begin seeing the OB on a weekly basis at this point, and go to the hospital to complete non-stress tests twice per week (Mondays and Thursdays). We also need to schedule another ultrasound to see how the baby is doing as decrease fluid and growth can be associated with preeclampsia. While at home, I have to start checking my blood pressure and completing kick counts (6 in an hour) three times per day after meals. Other than that, I'm allowed out of bed for potty breaks, quick showers, and meals.
It sounds like I will have a few activities to keep me busy in the upcoming weeks. I will begin seeing the OB on a weekly basis at this point, and go to the hospital to complete non-stress tests twice per week (Mondays and Thursdays). We also need to schedule another ultrasound to see how the baby is doing as decrease fluid and growth can be associated with preeclampsia. While at home, I have to start checking my blood pressure and completing kick counts (6 in an hour) three times per day after meals. Other than that, I'm allowed out of bed for potty breaks, quick showers, and meals.
Preeclampsia...contractions...pee jugs...bedrest...oh my! *34 weeks, 3 days*
The end is in sight! Last night I had a routine check-up which indicated high levels of protein in my urine. That coupled with excessive swelling in my feet/ankles, hands, and face lead the physician's assistant to believe there is a chance that I have a preeclampsia. The other characteristic sign of this disorder is high blood pressure, but my levels have been normal throughout pregnancy. The only cure for preeclampsia is delivery. So...I was sent directly from the doctor's office to labor and delivery at the hospital. I was hooked up to several monitors to check my blood pressure and also collect a blood sample which would provide more insight. I also completed a non-stress test to monitor fetal movement.
We were at the hospital for about three hours before being released. I did have a couple of reports of high blood pressure, but I assume this was related more to stress than anything. The nurse said that the baby was doing well, but also shared with me that I was having contractions! I was shocked! I hadn't felt a thing. She said I had approximately five in my first hour at the hospital. I told her if that was the extent of contractions then I could handle labor! Ha! I realize they'll be much worse.
The results of the blood test did not indicate any concerns, and the contractions stopped so I went home with my "pee jugs" and was put on bedrest at least through today. I have to collect my urine for 24 hours and return it to the hospital this evening. After the doctor has the results then she'll tell me how to proceed. My understanding from conversations yesterday are that there is a chance I'll be put on bedrest until delivery, but the goal would be for me to make it to 37 weeks to give Baby T a bit more time to bake. They did say that typically their biggest concern is whether the baby is big enough, but they're not concerned with that in our case. I measured 40 weeks yesterday!
The realization that this kiddo is coming is more real than ever. I definitely didn't feel prepared to have a baby yesterday. BJ is in the garage, as I type, cleaning out the car and prepping to install the car seat. We also need to get our bags packed. BJ has been amazing through this entire process and won't let me lift a finger, which can be difficult for me. It is nice being taken care of though!
We were at the hospital for about three hours before being released. I did have a couple of reports of high blood pressure, but I assume this was related more to stress than anything. The nurse said that the baby was doing well, but also shared with me that I was having contractions! I was shocked! I hadn't felt a thing. She said I had approximately five in my first hour at the hospital. I told her if that was the extent of contractions then I could handle labor! Ha! I realize they'll be much worse.
The results of the blood test did not indicate any concerns, and the contractions stopped so I went home with my "pee jugs" and was put on bedrest at least through today. I have to collect my urine for 24 hours and return it to the hospital this evening. After the doctor has the results then she'll tell me how to proceed. My understanding from conversations yesterday are that there is a chance I'll be put on bedrest until delivery, but the goal would be for me to make it to 37 weeks to give Baby T a bit more time to bake. They did say that typically their biggest concern is whether the baby is big enough, but they're not concerned with that in our case. I measured 40 weeks yesterday!
The realization that this kiddo is coming is more real than ever. I definitely didn't feel prepared to have a baby yesterday. BJ is in the garage, as I type, cleaning out the car and prepping to install the car seat. We also need to get our bags packed. BJ has been amazing through this entire process and won't let me lift a finger, which can be difficult for me. It is nice being taken care of though!
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