It's a BOY!  Gavin Edward arrived on 6/6/12 at 3:34 am!  He weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz. and was 21.5 inches long!  Definitely a big boy!  Mommy was super wrong on those girl vibes which is just fine.  I'm very excited for Silas to have a brother!  So, here is the story of T2's birth.  On the night of 6/4/12 when I went to bed my blood pressure was 151/90.  I was concerned, but hoped it was a fluke since I hadn't had any readings this high before and opted to see what it was in the morning.  When I woke up on 6/5/12 it was 157/90.  I made a call to the doctor and they asked me to go to the pregnancy assessment center.  Fortunately we had our bags packed, but BJ had worked midnight shift and would potentially be heading into this adventure without sleep.  Once at the assessment center they started monitoring my blood pressure which kept coming in at 120/70 on average (totally normal).  I found this to be very strange and we started joking that we were going home.  I did lose it a little when we waited about 3 hours for someone to talk to me and upon finally returning to check my status they requested that blood be drawn meaning we would be there longer.  I yelled at a nurse and a resident in frustration (which I did apologize for later).  A hormonal pregnant woman put in a little box of a room with construction noises coming through the wall, high temps, and a sleepy husband is not a good combination.  Results of the tests showed that there were trace amount of protein in my urine.  My doctor said that they could send me home and we'd continue to deal with increased blood pressure at home or we could induce so off to the labor and delivery room we went.  I felt very anxious.  It's not like I didn't know what was going to happen, but it became very real!

They hooked me up to an IV and started pitocin at about 3:30 pm.  Fortunately they didn't have to use cervadil because I had dilated to a three (which I had been at for two weeks).  My nurse was NUTS which was really a good thing and she kept me laughing.  When the doctor came in to check my cervix, the nurse sang, "twinkle, twinkle little star" to keep my mind off of it which just resulted in making me laugh.  I sat on the birthing ball for awhile to relieve some pressure and help make the baby move lower.  Renee and Amanda came and sat with me which was a nice distraction.  Our parents were all making their way south to spend time with Silas and wait for the arrival of their newest grandchild.  During the wait, I had asked the nurses how some women looked so flawless in their delivery pics which spurred the decision for Amanda to straighen my hair and put makeup on me.  The funny thing is that people commented on how great I looked in the pictures! 

We contacted a Triad grad who had watched Silas in the past and asked her to hang at our house while he slept so the grandparents could come to the hospital.  The arrived shortly before midnight.  A new nurse, Anne, had arrived at 7 pm and was with me during labor.  She was much calmer than the day nurse, Rasheda, which was probably a better combo for when things got serious.  I had progressed very little during the evening and Amanda and I were begging for them to break my water.  They had given me my epidural which was fabulous and I was encouraging the process at that point.  The nurse kept telling me that we wanted my labor to mirror a natural process not that of being induced.  My only frustration was that I was STILL at a 3 at midnight and the doctor had said it goes faster with your second and it would most likely progress quickly once they broke my water.  However, it seemed there wasn't a doctor available to break my water and in fact no one from OBGYN Consultants was working.  I wasn't shocked that this had happened. 

At midnight, a resident came in and broke my water.  I was so relieved for something to be happening.  From midnight to 1 am, I progressed from a 4 to a 9.  They said they could feel a tiny bit of cervix still exposed and we had to wait until 3 am for anything to happen.  It felt like forever.   I was actually very comfortable and fell asleep several times.  At one point, my oxygen level dropped and Gavin's heart rate did as well.  I felt like I was having PTSD from Si's delivery when the same thing had happened and they put me on oxygen and flipped the bed upside down.  I started crying which concerned Anne and she was very good about telling me what was going on.  Similarly, a group of people all entered the room at once and I knew that meant things were not going well for baby.  Once they moved me a little he resumed the appropriate heart rate.  I was so eager for the process to be over with and to find out T2's gender.  In general, I just wanted to be done!

In the end, I only pushed for 7 minutes which included being told to wait on one contraction and pushed Gavin out with 4 pushes.  The doctor said I was fortunate to have not gone two more weeks since Gavin was such a big boy!  I couldn't believe it when they said boy and it made me giggle.  They started working on assessing him immediately and didn't even let me see him which was surprising.  I had even said I would hold him gooey right away so this surprised me.  I kept trying to see him, but couldn't see much.  I was shocked by all his dark hair!  A resident worked on deliverying the placenta and sewing up 2 tears.  At that point, BJ went to the waiting room to tell everyone they could come back.  He told them the gender, but not the name so I could be there for that.  It ended up that the grandpas had left and only Nana and Grandma were at the hospital.  They came in and took pictures and held him.  After that I tried to breastfeed, but Gavin was pretty unresponsive and didn't show any signs of rooting.  He was also making a whimpering sound which concerned me.  The doctor that assessed him came in again and said everything was fine, but they called in a pediatrician for a second opinion. 

I became very cocnerned at that point.  They were pushing on his jaw and checking his oxygen levels.  It was making me angry that they were touching him and not being gentle.  They also were talking like we weren't in the room.  They said they were concerned with his breathing and took him to the care center on the same floor.  BJ was just as upset as I and turned his head to cry which was hard to see.  This definitely wasn't something either of us expected and we weren't even sure what we were supposed to say or do.  He went with Gavin, but I had to stay in the delivery room.  That part was very hard.  Similar to my delivery with Silas I sat alone in the room unsure of what was going on.  The grandmas had left to go meet up with the grandpas and Silas.  They weren't aware of anything that was happening.  It nearly broke my heart when Silas came in wearing his big brother shirt.  This was not the baby story I had in my mind.  Silas seemed a little ovewhelmed by seeing me in the hospital bed and gown, but eventually crawled up to sit with me.  I think he was pretty confused by it all. 

We were moved to the 9th floor to the recovery room.  BJ took the grandpas to see Gavin, but they weren't allowed to hold him since he was on oxygen.  The grandparents took Silas to get breakfast downstairs.  Everything felt really nuts.  I was still on pitocin and Silas was running everywhere.  It was really crazy.  I felt very out of control and unsure of what was happening with Gavin.  Everyone left and Amanda showed up to hang out with me.  BJ finally got a chance to lay down for a bit and sleep.  However, a doctor came in to talk to us about Gavin and said they were recommending he be transferred to STL Children's Hospital to be put on a ventilator.  They had tried giving him Surfactin, a protein often deficient in preterm babies, but they weren't successful.  This was all becoming way too crazy.  I talked wtiht eh doctor a little about how this all could impact his development and was reassured that he talked about how shouldn't impact his brain.  BJ was pretty angry at that point and told the doctor "to get it right."  The poor guy seemed a little overwhelmed and left the room to start the transport process.  Within an hour they brought Gavin into the room in an incubator  which was terribly hard to see.  His breathing seemed far worse and he was covered in wires.  BJ went with them to see the path to get to Children's from within Barnes.  Once they arrived he wasn't able to be with Gavin while they got everything hooked up there. 

It wasn't until later that evening that I was off the IV and could go see him myself.  All I could do was cry once we arrived.  He was in the C room in the NICU.  The nurse kept offering to tell me about things and explained all the wires and tubes, but honestly I couldn't take it all in.  It's just so wrong to see your baby that way.  There were about a dozen other babies in the same room as Gavin.  He was under a heater and the ventilator was making it impossible for you to hear him cry even though you could see that he was.  It was so heartbreaking.  I'm not sure I have ever felt more helpless in my life. 

We had lots of support during the process which we were thankful for.  Silas came to see Gavin the 2nd day and was thoroughly overwhelmed by what he saw.  Not sure what else we would expect since it was hard for us to take in as well.  That day Gavin was covered in a blanket and had a cloth over his eyes.  Once revealing all the wires, Silas started to cry and said, "not that baby."  Poor guy.  It wasn't the baby we expected either. 

I'm not sure I can even document everything that happened in that seven days.  Each day Gavin made progress which was wonderful, but at times it was hard not to think the worst.  I was definitely pushing myself to be positive.  I was released from Barnes that Friday, and each day Gavin had more interventions removed.  He went from the ventilator to a nose cannula and the level of air provided decreased slowly.  He wasn't fed except for sugar water through an IV for about 3 days.  The he had an NG tube through his nose to his stomach, and then moved onto botttles, and finally to breastfeeding.  The docs monitored him for weight gain and levels of bilirubin which both needed to improve to go home.  Miraculously the last night his weight went up and bilirubin went down!  The doctors can't really say exactly what caused his breathing issues.  They had hypothesized liquid in his lungs, a lack of surfactin, and just issues transitioning from the womb to the real world.  In the end they think he just wasn't developmentally ready.  We were so happy to finally bring our "wireless" baby home and be able to hold him without worrying about arranging a wire or dingers going off!  Gavin's big bro came home a day later from Nana and Papa's house.  He seemed so big and grown up!  We missed him so much and were glad to have both our boys together!  Silas frequently says he is "cute" and "what is he thinking?"  Sure will be interesting to see how they get along in the years to come! 

False Alarm

Following our crazy weekend I felt generally pretty cruddy at the beginning of the week.  On Tuesday I slept awhile after BJ came home from work and had little motivation to do much with Silas.  I actually ended up sleeping on the couch for well over an hour while he played on and around me.  It made me feel horrible, but I didn't have the energy to do anything about it.  He went to daycare on Wednesday and Thursday which I think was good for him so he could have a break from me and interact with other kiddos. 

On Wednesday night I did more prepping for T2.  I was feeling anxious, and I've had trouble sleeping.  Most likely as a result of being uncomfortable and my strange sleep habits lately, but I've also had racing thoughts of all the things we need to get done before arrival.  So, I finished packing T2's bag, packed my own bag, washed a tote of receiving blankets, and washed bottles while BJ raised the crib and washed/installed the carseat base.  This significantly reduced the to-do list. 

Thursday morning I had another weekly appointment.  In some ways they really drive me bonkers because you go and have to sit FOREVER!  We were in a room waiting to see someone for over an hour which did not fare well for my tiny bladder.  To my shock we saw a nurse practitioner rather than a doctor.  This just seemed strange to me at 37 weeks.  She came in and expressed some concern with my blood pressure which was 138/82.  Not a concern in the general blood pressure world, but high compared to my previous blood pressures.  She also used the doppler to listen to T2's heart beat and indicated that she didn't think the baby was head down.  Ugh.  So...as she went to get an ultrasound machine, she also consulted with Dr. Parks who told us to head on over to the pregnancy assessment center.  Long story short, if monitoring and bloodwork showed preeclampsia then I was being induced since I was full-term.  I was more emotional that I expected (although not atypical) because I was so sad that I hadn't spent more time telling Silas good-bye.  I'm having a really hard time thinking of leaving him for the few days I'm in the hospital.  I'm trying to look at this as a positive though that perhaps I'll be able to eventually get back to my old self who wants to go on walks, run, and play on the floor which I'm sure he is ready for. 

Needless to say, we spent three hours at Barnes and were released.  I have to monitor my blood pressure twice per day and take it to my appointment next week.  We were supposed to go see Avengers for BJ's birthday after the doctor's appointment which didn't work out since it took SO long!  So, we headed to the mall and purchased T2's heart bear.  It was pretty comical watching BJ pump that little stuffed bear full of cotton.  :) 

Once we got back to Troy, BJ went to Redbox and rented the Muppets and the Vow.  Silas was so excited to watch it when he came home from daycare.  It was our first family movie night where he actually sat on the couch with us.  I was happy to have this time after being so sad at the hospital.  More prepping continued after he went to bed.  We folded laundry and deleted pics from the camera and video camera, and BJ packed his stuff for the hospital. 

Today we did massive cleaning and organizing in the ktichen to find room for all those bottles again.  I'm still not convinced this is true nesting or forced based on my fear of being induced yesterday!  There is still some organizing to do in the nursery and I want to get all the bills paid just in case.  I've got lots of anxiety about how all of this happens at home.  As hard as being induced was with Silas at least I knew what to expect and had medical staff around me.  I'm sure my fears are based on two friends who just recently didn't make it to the hospital at the right time (one deliverying her baby at home), and the fact that BJ is an hour away at night time.  I also feel unsure of what to do with Silas if it is during the night and family is so far away.  I'm sure it will all work out as it is intended.  I just want to ensure that T2 is delivered safely and we're all taken care of. 

It's officially June now so T2 won't share the same birthday month as Silas, BJ, and Dunkel.  :)  We sure are ready to meet this little person, and very curious to know if it's a boy or girl!  Hopefully soon!

Things are becoming all too real...

Tomorrow I will officially be 36 weeks (full term) pregnant!  This pregnancy has just flown by!  I started weekly appointments today and things are progressing appropriately.  I asked the doctor about my ONE swollen foot which is rather strange.  I've had swelling pretty consistently, but now it is just my right foot.  I'm trying to keep my feet elevated, but things have been pretty nuts around here lately!  I've been monitoring any signs of preeclampsia...still pretty crazy to be vertical at this point in the pregnancy (as compared to with Silas).  Some concerns with blood pressure (140/80), swelling, headaches, and visual abnormalities.  Still nothing that definitively points to preeclampsia though which is great!  I'm currently 2-3 centimeters dilated which was totally shocking!  I had a horrible experience at Barnes for a tour of their labor and delivery facilities.  I am really hoping for a more positive experience when it's the real deal!

We've been doing lots of prepping around the house for baby.  Almost everything of Si's is moved out of the nursery, and what clothing we have for both genders is washed and put away.  We recently used gift cards from co-workers to purchase a new diaper bag and a monitor.  I've been refreshing my memory by reading some material from Medela on breastfeeding.  I still need to get out my pump and wash bottles.  Wishing I could make this more of a priority, but we're also planning two parties for this Saturday...Silas turns 3 (swim party at the YMCA) and BJ turns 33 (grilling out at home with family/friends).  It seems like Silas is really becoming quite the big kid before T2's arrival - sleeping in his big boy bed, getting himself dressed, and potty training.  I watched video from his first birthday the other day and it brought tears to my eyes.  It's crazy how quickly kiddos grow up.  I keep telling myself that I need to do everything I can to be an "in the moment" mom and enjoy all of this.  It already worries me that Si will tire of me holding him before I know it which I'll miss. 

Silas now tells us that T2 is a girl and we should name her Guido Mater after some of his pals from Cars.  He cracks me up. 

Hoping to pull everything together by Saturday and then focus all efforts on T2 until their arrival!  I can't believe it's almost time!

Chunky Monkey

Wow!  It seems like SO much has happened since my last post.  At 29 weeks we did a 3D/4D ultrasound with a company in St. Peters called Ultrasona of St. Louis.  They had an awesome deal on Livingsocial for $65 so I couldn't resist.  This was the first day of my spring break and the appointment was at 9:00 to be followed by a doctor's appointment at 10:30.  It all worked out perfectly although Silas had zero interest in seeing his baby brother or sister.  He played in a room across the hallway watching Sid the Science Kid.  Baby T2 was very cooperative and we received some adorable shots.  The woman was very careful to not head down south and avoided giving us any information related to gender.  I was just amazed by baby's chubby cheeks!  They look so squeezable and it made me anxious for arrival even though that is still quite aways off.  Heart rate was taken at 143 bpm and they estimated the baby to be at 3 pounds. 

At 30 weeks, we did a maternity photo session with Nikki Classen which also included Silas' three year pictures.  Silas has been less than cooperative on previous photo sessions so Amanda came along to assist us in getting the perfect smile.  :)  The night before I was searching pinterest for some motivation and came across some pics of a family holding pink and blue balloons.  I shared the idea with Amanda and she put it into action.  It was definitely one of our best photo shoots to date.  I get to pick up the pictures this weekend and I can't wait to see how they all turned out!  We didn't do a maternity session with Silas and now I kind of regret not doing so.  I guess in general I'm just happier being pregnant this time around though. 

This week we had a doctor's appointment and another ultrasound to see if my placenta had moved to assess the size of the baby since I am measuring several weeks further than my due date.  On this visit we actually had more 3D pictures taken and they were adorable.  Following the session at 29 weeks I guessed that the baby was a boy, but after this session I am now thinking girl.  There is just something about those chubby cheeks and poochy lips.  It'll be funny to see how this all turns out based on my theories.  Anyway, I've decided this baby is a chunky monkey.  They assessed baby at 4.5 lbs with a heart rate of 132 bpm.  Is it possible that the baby gained 1.5 pounds in two weeks???  Eeks!  BJ and I spent the day alone in St. Louis which NEVER happens and really should more than it does.  After my appointment we went to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch and then happened to be just in time to see the Hunger Games at the mall cinema. 

Life seems really hectic right now.  With help from Nana we just did the bulk of the decorating for Silas' big boy room although he has no interest in leaving his crib.  Upon me telling him that cribs are for babies he said, "no, cribs are for boys and girls."  It may be tough for him to give that room up to a sibling.  We've got some time though.  We're also potty training and just today he peed in the potty three times!  So happy and hopeful to only be buying one set of diapers come June.  We've got lots of projects we wanted to address before T2 but they may not happen.  We're just trying to stay afloat between our schedules, and meeting Si's needs.  Can't imagine how much life is about to change!

Flinstone Feet

So...I went to bed last night and had ankle bones...today, not so much. I was shocked at how much my ankles had swelled when I woke up today. By the end of the school day they looked horrible and the swelling even had gone up my calves. I've been trying to sit with my feet elevated most of the evening. It's so hard to remember when these things happened with my first pregnancy, but this seems early to me. I still have 3 months to go! Today I am 27 weeks. :) Every week is a blessing that I am thankful for. I can't help but feel a little anxious considering the swelling was just one component leading to bedrest during my first pregnancy and I just can't imagine it this round. I don't know how I'd take care of Silas and it makes me very sad to think of having to send him to Papa and Nana's house for an extended stay. I'm feeling the need to get some things off the t0-do list and just wish I had the motivation to do it. I guess we'll just have to take things day by day.

26 weeks

It's hard to believe I've almost made it to the third trimester! In some respects it really feels like this pregnancy is flying and baby will be here before I'm even ready, and then other days it seems like forever! I passed my glucose test with flying colors. Normal is 140 or less and my score was 118 to 120. I'm still having aches and pains, but trying to just keep fighting through. The doctor doesn't seemed concerned. I'm anxious for another ultrasound to see if this previa has moved. I plan to ask the time line for this at my next appointment on 4/5. Silas seems to be starting to understand life with a baby more and more. This past weekend we went to the store for a diaper deal and he was discouraged that the stock up trip wasn't for him. Sure hoping he is potty trained soon! We also borrowed a bassinett from a friend and he will state that "the baby sleeps in there." He also reported that the baby cries - good thing he gets that now. ;) Really hoping to get his big boy room going in the next couple of weeks so I can prep the nursery. Hard to believe we'll be a family of four in approximately three months!

June is approaching

Today I am officially 23 weeks! :) Last night as we were laying in bed Baby T2 was kickboxing and daddy was finally able to feel kicks. We've been trying for weeks and not getting any cooperation. I've had a few friends that live far away have babies lately and their posts on facebook make me more and more excited for summer. My last doctor's appointment was good - no concerns. I did express my frustration with the lack of attention given to my previa and have come to terms with the fact that I will have to do my own research and be my own advocate. No other issues with spotting and my blood pressure is still great! I have to do my glucose test at the next appointment which makes me a little nervous, but hopefully all will be fine. We're in the process of planning Si's big boy room and preparing the nursery for our new arrival. June will be here before we know it!