The BIG day has finally arrived...

Wow! I've been awful about keeping up with updates. Today is officially day 25 of bed rest and unfortunately I've become quite lethargic. It's difficult to be motivated to do anything when you're stuck in bed, but that is about to come to an end. Tonight I'm being admitted to the hospital at 7 pm. The goal is to have my cervix softened so they'll be inserting a string that has cervadel on it. Apparently, this has to be in place for 12 hours so we'll be spending the night at the hospital. In the morning, they'll give me pitocin to force contractions. I'm still feeling unsure about this whole process, but I guess it just falls into the unknown territory...something you can read about and talk to others about, but not fully ever feel prepared. I still wish I'd be able to use some strategies to help me work through the pain, but I have to let that go. I've come to terms with the fact that I may just have to use medication, but an epidural still scares me just as much as the pain of childbirth. In one of our classes, they recommended coming up with a "safety" word to allow your coach to know that you really needed the epidural and you weren't just having a weak moment. So, last night I came up with "bananas"...not sure where it came from, but BJ can't stand bananas so I guess it will symbolize that I can't stand the pain. From what I've read, pitocin slows the natural production of endorphines in the body which is the reason why labor is so much more difficult when you're induced. Since I was dilated to 1 1/2 as of Wednesday at my appointment, so hopefully my body will cooperate with this process and indicate in some way that it's ready for this.

It's been a drama packed week and Baby T's arrival will be a blessing amidst it all. Sienna had her final heart surgery this past Tuesday, so my parents have been all over the state. The plan was for them to come to our house once I was being induced, but my mom came on Wednesday because I was so distressed over us finding out BJ is being laid off from his job at detention as of June 10th. We were definitely thrown for a loop and it's horrible timing. To add to the fun for my parents, they're typically in Boise, Idaho celebrating our niece Addison's birthday (5/24) which they were unable to do this year. So, we've been fortunate to have my mom's help this week. It was nice having the reassurance that if something happened she'd be here to take me to the hospital and also someone to talk to rather than being overwhelmed with my daily I'm paranoia. Pops has been driving back and forth to Peoria every day to visit with Sienna, and also helping to care for Aunt Lillian (she turned 95 on 5/18). Drama, drama, drama!

I'm just ready to meet my little man and hope with all my might that he is healthy! I know in the upcoming weeks we're going to be faced with challenges we've never known before. I wish it was just the addition of a newborn to the mix, but we'll also be working on the job hunt for BJ and learning how to live on one income. We'll make it though!

Mother's Day

Today is Day 10 of bed rest which has left me with plenty of time to reflect on soon-t0-be motherhood. It's amazing to me how much you can care about someone who you've never even met. While this has given me a chance to think about all the fun and exciting things that the future holds, it is also difficult to not worry about all the things that could go wrong. I truly want Baby T to be born with every opportunity to have a happy and healthy life. The anticipation of seeing him and knowing that he has developed appropriately just seems to be mounting these days. I'm so ready for him to be here, even though I know that he is where he should be and needs this time for all his little systems to grow and improve.

We've had lots of support from friends and family through this process, especially our parents. They've made numerous trips and phone calls to check up on all of us. Nana Jennings came and stayed with us for a few days and made food for after Baby T's arrival. It was nice having her here, not just for the help, but also for the company. She got to go with me for one emergency hospital trip because Baby T's kick counts were too low and also for my reguarly weekly check up.

These emergency trips are truly the most stressful, and fills you with a bit of fear and excitement. Of course, fear, that something could be wrong; but also excitement that maybe this process could start moving faster if necessary. Once again everything was fine, and I think that Baby T may be giving me a taste of our future. We get to the hospital and he just kicks away. It's been interesting meeting some of the nurses, as it is truly them that will be helping me through the delivery process. I've actually been impressed with all but one. My mom got to be present for the one I didn't like. On this particular day, Baby T's heart rate was fluctuating up and down and she asked me if my baby had been diagnosed with arrythmia. Seriously? Another thing to worry about? *sigh* I tried not to take her too seriously though, as this had never been mentioned previously and I just had this vibe that she wasn't the most experienced nurse I had worked with. I was reassured of this today during a routine NST, as the heart rate fluctuated the same so I asked to see what this nurse had to say. She showed me the charts that they monitor which showed that when Baby T kicks, his heart rate goes up and then returns to normal. She said it was just like when we increase activity then our heart rate goes up and then returns to normal. Sure makes sense to me.

At my weekly appointment, we talked with Dr. Midkiff about a set date for induction so that I could have a goal in sight. The other concern is that Sienna is having her third, and final, heart surgery on May 19th in Peoria which means Papa and Nana J will be required to be in two cities at once for very big events in our lives right now. For now, she said we would shoot for May 20th which would be one day past my 37th week. I was disappointed because she said that mothers with preeclampsia are not allowed out of bed to use alternatives for assisting the birthing process (i.e., walking, birth ball, etc.). She said that I would be induced using pitocin. Should my cervix not be softened then I'd have to come in and have cervadel used to soften my cervix first. I also expressed concerns wtih the use of an epidural, but my fear at this point is that this might be my only possibility considering I won't have other methods at hand to work through the pain. I figure I need to just be open minded and see how it goes. It's so hard to really have a handle on things when you have no prior knowledge.

Honestly, I'm pretty fearful about the whole process at this point. I've never had any kind of illness that required even staying in the hospital. I know BJ will be there for me though, and I have to trust the hospital staff. I also have to keep telling myself that the end result is Baby T FINALLY being here! It won't be long now!

Paranoid?

Well, yesterday didn't feel much like bed rest, in fact, it was a pretty hectic day! In addition to arranging my leave from work, I also had to work with the doctor to get some of our appointments scheduled. We had two appointments yesterday. We were scheduled for an ultrasound to look at Baby T's growth and fluid and fortunately both looked good according to the technician. She estimated Baby T to currently weigh 6 lbs. 6 oz. This may just be a blessing that we're not going to make it 40 weeks as babies gain approximately 1/2 a pound per week...that would be a pretty BIG baby! :) We have a follow-up appointment with my OB on Thursday who will share with us her insights into the ultrasound.

Monday afternoon we went to the hospital to have a non-stress test and things looked good for Baby T. However, my blood pressure had increased and they kept us a bit longer for monitoring. They determined it was due to stress, as I'd been on the phone with our insurance company trying to figure out where we could get our blood pressure monitor which they'd told us was covered 100% by our plan. It's pretty ironic that my blood pressure was increasing because I couldn't find a blood pressure monitor. I can laugh about it now, but after getting the run around for about two hours yesterday, I was done!

Today, we had an in-home nurse come to our house and show me how to use a blood pressure monitor and use dip sticks to check the protein in my urine. She also had a doppler system with her and it was cute watching Guinness and Dunkel listening to the thumping of Baby T's heart. It's going to be so interesting to see how they interact with him.

I spent most of this afternoon napping, which was nice. I woke up and asked BJ to assist me with taking my blood pressure because I didn't want to move from bed and hoped to get an accurate reading. Unfortunately, it was up again (150/90)! I also felt like I had a headache, had a pain in my lower abdomen, and my vision was blurred in my right eye. All of these are symptoms and signs that things are going well for preeclampsia, so I called the doctor and went back to the hospital again! It's beginning to make me feel crazy and paranoid, but after being there for a little over an hour my blood pressure returned to normal and we were allowed to go home once the results of my blood tests confirmed things were fine. The nurse told me that if I have blurred vision then I definitely need to call them.

I fear this is going to be a long couple of weeks before Baby T's arrival! I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not very good at bed rest, however I don't have a choice.

Bedrest it is...

Well...the results are in...I officially have preeclampsia. That being said, the doctor has put me on bedrest until delivery. The goal still remains for me to make it to 37 weeks and then be induced at that time. It should be interesting to hear the date that the doctor chooses, as our families are known for members sharing birthdays. For instance, my brother and niece Jasmyne share a birthday and BJ shares his birthday with our nephew Alex. Those in the running to share birthdays with Baby T are my Great Aunt Lillian and BJ's brother Ryan on May 18th or our niece Addison on May 24th. We'll see what happens, but our doctor typically schedules deliveries and surgeries on Mondays so the 18th is looking promising.

It sounds like I will have a few activities to keep me busy in the upcoming weeks. I will begin seeing the OB on a weekly basis at this point, and go to the hospital to complete non-stress tests twice per week (Mondays and Thursdays). We also need to schedule another ultrasound to see how the baby is doing as decrease fluid and growth can be associated with preeclampsia. While at home, I have to start checking my blood pressure and completing kick counts (6 in an hour) three times per day after meals. Other than that, I'm allowed out of bed for potty breaks, quick showers, and meals.

Preeclampsia...contractions...pee jugs...bedrest...oh my! *34 weeks, 3 days*

The end is in sight! Last night I had a routine check-up which indicated high levels of protein in my urine. That coupled with excessive swelling in my feet/ankles, hands, and face lead the physician's assistant to believe there is a chance that I have a preeclampsia. The other characteristic sign of this disorder is high blood pressure, but my levels have been normal throughout pregnancy. The only cure for preeclampsia is delivery. So...I was sent directly from the doctor's office to labor and delivery at the hospital. I was hooked up to several monitors to check my blood pressure and also collect a blood sample which would provide more insight. I also completed a non-stress test to monitor fetal movement.

We were at the hospital for about three hours before being released. I did have a couple of reports of high blood pressure, but I assume this was related more to stress than anything. The nurse said that the baby was doing well, but also shared with me that I was having contractions! I was shocked! I hadn't felt a thing. She said I had approximately five in my first hour at the hospital. I told her if that was the extent of contractions then I could handle labor! Ha! I realize they'll be much worse.

The results of the blood test did not indicate any concerns, and the contractions stopped so I went home with my "pee jugs" and was put on bedrest at least through today. I have to collect my urine for 24 hours and return it to the hospital this evening. After the doctor has the results then she'll tell me how to proceed. My understanding from conversations yesterday are that there is a chance I'll be put on bedrest until delivery, but the goal would be for me to make it to 37 weeks to give Baby T a bit more time to bake. They did say that typically their biggest concern is whether the baby is big enough, but they're not concerned with that in our case. I measured 40 weeks yesterday!

The realization that this kiddo is coming is more real than ever. I definitely didn't feel prepared to have a baby yesterday. BJ is in the garage, as I type, cleaning out the car and prepping to install the car seat. We also need to get our bags packed. BJ has been amazing through this entire process and won't let me lift a finger, which can be difficult for me. It is nice being taken care of though!

B-I-G Baby!!!

I haven't done as well as I would have liked with updates, so this will include as much information as I can recall at this point. At our 32 week appointment, I measured 39 weeks. So....now Baby T is measuring 7 weeks further along. I asked the doctor if they had received the results of the sonogram and they showed me normative curves that reflected the 80th percentile for weight, belly, head, and femur. Essentially, Baby T is a big baby, but fortunately not off the charts. They still seemed confident that I would be able to deliver naturally and told me to let them worry about how big the baby is. It's nice for them to take on this burden, but seriously, I'm the one lugging around this kiddo everyday.

I wanted more information about my low iron as I'd been put on the prescription supplement and was concerned because the package said to discuss the risks of taking this medication while pregnant and breastfeeding. It's been about a week and a half since my appointment and the doctor hasn't called to update me on the information they said they were going to seek out regarding this information. I continue to be somewhat concerned about the lack of individualized attention that I'm getting. I just hope there are any issues that are being overlooked. I have to stay positive though. Through our discussion they did tell that my hemoglobin was assessed at an 11 from my last blood test. If my hemoglobin would drop below 10 at delivery then they would have to consider a blood transfusion. This makes me anxious and I'm hoping that this doesn't happen. That being said, I have little and no interest in eating liver and raisins everyday. I guess we'll see what happens.

I've had both my primary baby showers at this point. We feel very blessed to have the support of our friends and family. Baby T received lots of essentials and goodies. It was so nice to spend time with everyone, and see family members that I haven't seen in quite sometime. I went through our registries and prioritized the necessities we need. Over the next few weeks we'll have to pick them up. Forunately, we received a few nice giftcards as well. Every litte bit helps.

Prior to the shower here in Troy, Grandpa Thomason passed away at 11:48 am on April 18th. Diane had driven down for the shower and decided to wait until after the shower to break the news. I knew something was going on though, as she wasn't her typical self. Once everyone had left, I actually asked if it had happened since we knew it was a possibility. This past week we traveled back to Danville to attend the visitation/funeral. It was difficult for us to come to terms that Baby T was so close to meeting his great-grandfather, but he truly is in a better place. I just wish Baby T could have met him at least once and received one of his good bear hugs.

We had to reschedule our last Prepared Childbirth Class which we were supposed to attend on Wednesday night due to the funeral. We went to a different instructor last night. We're not sure that these classes were beneficial, and perhaps have given me more anxiety. I'm still scared of having an epidural, but also not sure that Anderson Hospital is prepared to assist me in a drug-free delivery. It seems there is different information provided by each nurse that we meet with. We're just hoping to have a good nurse when the big day comes.

Another memory for the baby book is a blunder on mommy's part. Today as I left for work, there was road construction from Route 40 to our subdivision which is atypical, however they're expanding the road to allow for a turning lane which will drastically improve my drive to work once it's done. I sat in the line of traffic for about 20 minutes and as I approached Route 40, I decided to use the shoulder to turn right. There were only three cars in front of me and I decided it wasn't a big deal. I've waited out this light several mornings, and I've also seen other cars more significantly break this law. That being said, I wasn't upset about being pulled over until the officer came back to the window and said my citation court date was 6/10! I told the officer, "great, that's my due date!" He told me I didn't have to appear in court, I said, "fantastic!" Not exactly the way I wanted to start my Friday morning. This was following a ridiculous charlie's horse at 5:30 am and lead to a pounding headache all afternoon. It hasn't been the best day of my pregnancy for sure. I'm approaching the uncomfortable stage, and I'm ready for Baby T to be here. Forunately, BJ has been supportive and has taken care of me.

Hmmmmm...

Well, the confusion goes on as there is no new information letting us know if Baby T is a giant or not. I had a ultrasound this past Wednesday. It's always nice to see him and take a glimpse at life inside the belly. Of course, he yawned as soon as the screen popped up. I think he's bored with these events, but always goes along for the ride. His little hands were up by his face again. The most amazing thing though was watching his little tongue move in and out of his mouth. It's such a surreal experience to think about this little human being that is forming inside. The technician did confirm that Baby T is in fact a boy. We wanted to know this just because we'd heard both at this point. She also pointed out that he has hair on the back of his head. It's so intriguing to think about what he'll look like. That little hair could be blonde like his daddy, brown like mine, or even red based on others in the family. The technician estimated that he is about four pounds. I'm unsure if this is abnormal or not. The information that I've read on the net says that babies on average are three pounds at this point. The doctor hadn't received the data from the technician at my appointment on Thursday. However, it's also my understanding that this information can easily be skewed and probably isn't accurate anyway. The tech estimated my due date to be June 1st.

To add to the fun of things, we decided to attempt some good ol' April Fools pranks on the grandparents due to the timing of the ultrasound. I called my dad and told him the doctors had figured out why I was measuring so big - there is another baby in there! My dad immediately said you're not getting me with an April Fool's. Ha! We took a different approach on the Thomason side. Due to their high hopes that Baby T would be a boy, we called and said, "you won't believe it - it's a girl!" Grandma Thomason immediately seemed concerned and commented that she'd have to change so many things. I'm guessing she's making a blanket or something that must be more gender specific. So funny!

To add to the craziness, the physician's assistant measured me at 36 weeks at my appointment this week and I'm 30! So rather than measuring four weeks further along - now I'm 6 weeks! I'm dying to hear their thoughts on the ultrasound. My fear is that I won't get any information until my next appointment so I'll be waiting two weeks. The worst part about measuring further along is that it makes me gets my hopes up that there is a chance I won't have to actually wait until June 10th for Baby T to get here. Although, my gut feeling tells me I'll be waiting until then and possibly longer.

At this point, I've gained 21 pounds. So, in my own words, I was given the "fat talk." The P.A. said that they hadn't wanted me to gain more than thirty and at this rate I'd be up 4o pounds by the time of delivery. So I was told to cut back on starches and sugars. Ugh! I can't say I've done so well even since hearing that information. I'm hoping the weather improves so I can get to walking again.

My mom, Aunt Lillian, Amanda, and Renee were over this weekend to work on favors for the baby shower here in two weeks. It was fun gabbing with everyone. Afterward my mom and I went in search of a glider/rocker for the nursery. We found one on sale which was even more exciting. I was very happy, as this was one item that I wasn't very optomistic we'd receive as a gift. Daddy will be putting the chair together on his day off this week.

This next weekend is the shower given by the Goodner aunts in Danville, and then the following weekend is the shower for friends and Jennings/Bush family members. I'm excited to see everyone and feel more confident that we're prepared for this kiddo. Time really is flying. It's amazing that he'll be here in two months! :)

BIG baby?

*28 weeks, 2 days*

I had a routine check-up on Thursday (my appointments are every two weeks at this point). The doctor measured me at 32 weeks, despite being 28 weeks currently. She decided it was necessary to send us for another ultrasound to see just how big Baby T is. I asked if this meant I would be induced early in an attempt to still have Baby T naturally, and she seemed to think I was crazy. I guess if he is enormous then I will have to have a c-section which isn't my preference. This comes after attending a natural childbirth class on Wednesday night. I guess we'll see what the results of the ultrasound have to say. Of coure, the entire office staff was amused by the news as a giant BJ stood next to me. They said that Baby T's size could just be genetic, but BJ was only 7 lb. 12 oz (although 23 1/2 inches long).

Also, I was happy to hear I had passed my gestational diabetes test. :) However, even with supplements, my iron is still too low and I've been prescribed a prescription iron supplement instead of over the counter. The doctor said this could mean that following the birth I may be exhausted, which isn't good news.

My feet and hands started swelling this week. I can't wear my wedding ring anymore. Fortunately, the swelling reduces at night.

I attended some local baby rummage sales and picked up a few things. I've learned that I'm not sure I'm cut out for all of these events. I'd been to a couple in South County which were very organized, but the one I went to locally for Metroeast Mothers of Multiples was INSANE. At one point a woman stepped on my flip flopped foot, and then seconds later a woman was literally hanging over my left shoulder to look at the clothes I was looking at. Definitely an instance when pregnancy hormones are not helpful...I turned to the woman and asked if she was serious and then told her she could have my spot if she needed to be there that desperately. Needless to say I only came home with a few items. It's hard to know what to purchase anyway. I think it would have been easier had we had showers or once Baby T is here and I have an idea what I should really be looking for.



We're getting excited for the showers and to see everyone. We actually received a couple of ashower gifts in the mail this week which was very unexpected and exciting.

Check-ups and Breastfeeding Class *26 weeks*

Well, we FINALLY met Dr. Midkiff now that I'm 6 1/2 months. I'm not really sure what I expected, but she didn't look like what I had in my mind. I liked that she seemed very by the books. I had shared with the nurse that I've been having a pain in my left thigh and she said the doctor would have to check me for pre-term labor. Ugh! Not my favorite part of the appointment. Baby T's heartbeat was 145 bpm, which has been consistent for three appointments now. Afterward, we chatted and I shared my concerns with her regarding the rumors I'd heard that she does a larger than typical number of c-sections. She seemed very offended...almost as if she would cry. She seemed to know her stuff and told me that her percentage is 19% in comparison to the national average of 24%. She did confirm that she has little involvement in the delivery and that nurses typically assist with the pushing, and she comes in for the birth. I think we're going to stick it out for this delivery, but I may be seeking another doctor afterward. It may be more my style to head over the river to a research hospital where the doctors are more involved.

I start going for check-ups every two weeks from now on. Time really is flying!!! I have a feeling Baby T will be here before I know it. I wish he were here now.

An hour after our check-up we had Breastfeeding Class. I had attended one at about 6 weeks pregnant with a friend as her coach, but I wanted BJ to hear the information as well. He's going to be the one who is here when I'm frantically trying to figure out how all of this works. There is so much information to take in, and I hope he can help me focus on some of the tips when I need some clarity. We're really hoping breastfeeding works...primarily for the weight loss benefits and financial aspects. They shared that on average, parents spend $3200 on formula in the first year! Crazy! I'm most concerned about figuring out how to pump and go back to work.

Still lots of movement at this point, although it varies from day to day. BJ tried putting a flashlight on my belly to see if he'd react, but there didn't seem a big difference.

Kick, kick, kicking!

Well, BJ's first opportunity to "feel" Baby T in my belly came on February 12th. It was a Thursday evening and he was getting ready for bed when I realized there was a thumping motion coming from my lower abdomen. I told him to hurry, which initially confused him and then he caught on. It really felt almost like a heart beat that we were feeling through my stomach, which wasn't what I expected. Pretty cool though.

There has been more routine movement from Baby T in the past few weeks....he kicks mid-morning (8:30 or 9), again after lunch, when I get home from work, and when I'm lying in bed before falling asleep. It's most noticeable when I actually stop moving around during the day.

A few nights ago, I swear he was taking a kickboxing class in my tummy. His daddy had to work midnight shift which typically makes it more difficult for me to get restful sleep, but every couple hours when I woke up I could feel him kicking. I couldn't believe the frequency!

Just last night (2/25), BJ and I actually saw my belly move as a result of his kicks. Throughout the evening he'd been kicking and every attempt BJ made to feel him caused baby to be stubborn and stop kicking. I began feeling kicking again when I was lying in bed and told BJ to come feel. He decided to hum "Green Acres" (yeah, I don't know...not going to pretend to understand) and everytime he stopped, Baby T would kick! My stomach would bounce upward with each kick and was visible to us both. We were giggling.

Now BJ is obsessed with seeing his response to music, and tonight I had ipod ear pieces on my belly for a period of time. Not as much movement today, and Baby T didn't really react.

The motion is very reassuring and helps to make me feel like everything is okay!

L-O-V-E *23 weeks, 3 days*

Perhaps the best Valentine's Day we've ever had, and that's saying alot considering there were 14 before this one! We were eagerly anticipating the weekend and the excitement of finally finding out Baby T's gender. It was a long shot, but we'd found a local place on the internet that does 3D ultrasounds and had a Valentine special. They recommended having the ultrasound done around 28 weeks, but the special would have expired by then....so at 23 weeks and 3 days we saw Baby T again. It was an AMAZING experience that I would recommend to anyone that is considering it.

Upon the technician placing the wand on my belly, she instantly said, "It's a boy!" Shock was really our initial reaction as the technician at the 19 week Level II sono said it was a girl. We'd been so disappointed by the experience and she admitted that she was unsure if this information was accurate. However, they did put it in our file and even our local doctor said they wouldn't report this information unless it was accurate. All I have to say is, "whatever!" The 3D sono tech told us that she had never had that happen before, and I honestly think she questioned herself for a second after our reaction. We both said, "what!?!" I asked if she could take a picture for confirmation. She told us that she'd seen the "turtle head" and took a picture of Baby T's package. Hehe!

We'd really been hesitant about telling everyone, and BJ had considered keeping it a surprise; however, we decided to break the news in a special way. Both of Baby T's sets of grandparents watched the 3D ultrasound from their home computers three hours way. Suzanne and the boys were with Ralph and Diane; and a family friend (Betty Jean) was with my parents. Apparently Betty Jean knew it was a boy even before the technician typed the information on the screen.

After that initial excitement, we spend the next half hour just watching Baby T move about. Due to my concern that he'd passively lay on his belly the entire time like the 19 week, I drank a little Cherry Pepsi before the appointment. This apparently made him happy and active, and the technician said it was a good thing. His little arms were moving all around and often times were waving in front of his face. We watched him yawn and even suck his thumb! It was adorable!

I may be crazy, but I can really see his daddy in the picture. I think it's in his forehead and eyes that I see BJ, rather than myself. I guess time will tell!

This experience has made Baby T more real to me than ever. Sometimes you feel so disconnected from that little person growing inside when you can't see for yourself what is going on. I find myself just staring at the pictures wondering if he'll look the same in a few months. I realize I may be biased, but he sure is a cutie. Can't wait to see him in person!

Doctor Appointment *22 weeks*

Wow! Time sure is flying. I had my monthly appointment with the physician's assistant on 2/3. This was the first time I'd met the physician's assistant on my venture to eventually meet the doctor who will deliver our child. Unfortunately, I can't say that I was impressed. She talked a mile a minute, and made me feel like a number more than anything.

I had hoped the doctor would approve us for another ultrasound as we were disappointed by the experience at St. Mary's. It makes me feel somewhat guilty saying that as we were obviously very pleased to find out the cyst was gone, but I also think these rare moments when you're able to see your child inside your tummy are opportunities for bonding. The doctor's response was very brief and she indicated that we should be happy there wasn't a cyst. Furthermore, the baby was fine and they would not write a script for a sono. Very disappointing. The other reason we wanted to have another chance to see Baby T was because the technician was unsure of the gender, so we wanted confirmation of what they had said.

I had previously decided I wasn't going to spend the money on a 3D sono, but didn't really know of any other way to achieve our two goals - seeing the baby and determining the gender. I did a google search and found out there is a facility minutes away in Glen Carbon - Ultrasound Zone, LLC. They're also running a Valentine's Day Special, so I asked BJ if he'd be open to having it done. We decided this would be our Valentine gift to one another. I can't think of anything more perfect! We have an appointment on 2/13.

The only other new medical concern, is that my iron came up low so I'm taking supplements daily. I was surprised to hear this information, as the nurse on the phone said this may be why I've been lethargic...well, I hadn't been lethargic. In fact, I've had tons of energy lately. So, I've been taking my supplements and oddly have felt more tired since I started taking them. Weird.

With my boost in energy, I've been cleaning and organizing closets. I also went through the clothes my sister had given me to sort out what I felt we could use. My plan is to have a garage sale before Baby T's arrival. I definitely want this opportunity to get things organized before I have my hands full!

We wrapped up our registries (Wal-Mart, Target, and Babies R Us) this weekend! It's so hard trying to figure out what to register for. Fortunately, there are lots of mommies in my life to offer some advice! Amanda and my mom are throwing me a shower for friends and the Jennings/Bush side of the family on 4/18. We're going to have it here so I don't have to transport gifts. I'm very excited to see everyone!

My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades!

Another step toward completion of the nursery! BJ had a couple days off and decided that he would begin by painting the ceiling and accent walls white, which were previously a cream color. We had gone to Home Depot and used their color match system to make a funky green that was found in one of the dots of our bedding. I'd also found a diamond pattern I wanted to add to the wall.

Interestingly, the same day BJ started painting, my parents called (1/23) to ask if we wanted help painting the room. I wasn't going to pass up on the opportunity for some help. From what I've read in the bible (a.k.a., What to Expect When You're Expecting) it stated that most paints are safe for pregnant women to be around, but you never know when new research will be found linking some type of concern. So, I didn't want to paint the room myself, and BJ can't stand to paint!

Nana and Papa Jennings arrived later that night and we talked about the plan for completing the room. Fortunately, Amanda's hubby (Chris) has a system at work that allowed him to put in the dimensions of our room and tell us the measurements for taping off the diamonds with painter's tape. We discovered the only new concern was keeping the tape straight and ran out to purchase a laser to assist with the process.

It was late by the time we arrived home, and decided it best to leave the activity until the next morning. It took quite some time and all four of us working together to tape off the diamonds. I was so glad when they could finally start painting, but it was killing me that I couldn't help out. My mom painted a small area with the green paint and it was hideous!!! I started crying immediately (thank you pregnancy hormones), and became more frustrated as nobody else seemed to understand my concerns. BJ kept saying, "it's fine" and that he just wanted it finished. I couldn't believe it...it looked like a combination of poo and vomit! There was no way our baby was going to have a nursery with poo colored walls!

As we're still unsure of the gender of the baby, this sent us back to the drawing board to choose a color. We were left with pale yellow, bright yellow, pale blue, red, or brown...BJ had said he didn't want to use blue, as he felt it was not gender neutral if we had a girl. So...considering red and brown would probably darken the room, we decided on pale yellow. We hopped in the car (again) and went to the local Ace Hardware to see what they had to offer. BJ giggled a little and said, "it did sort of look like baby poo on the wall" in reference to the green. Lovely. We had great customer service at Ace and they helped us make a yellow. It was a bit brighter than I had anticipated, and thus the room was given the name, "my future's so bright, I gotta wear shades."

It was not the most relaxing day and there was some argument involved, but the room is painted and it looks great. I can't wait to put the curtains up, put the bedding in the crib, and start putting things on the walls. It's all coming together. I hope Baby T loves their room some day!

A Day to be Thankful! *19 weeks, 1 day*

Well, to say that I started the day off feeling very tense is an understatement. Last night I found myself intermitently crying at the thought of hearing something I didn't want to hear today. I maintained control on the drive to St. Mary's, but as we got closer I could feel my stress level rising. I realized when we were about two blocks from St. Mary's that we had been given no instructions on where we needed to go upon arrival (i.e., building, floor, etc.). I found a map in my packet which listed the imagining center in Building B. I figured it was a place to start. We parked the car and the confusion began. Random people in the lobby were assisting people with directions, and I say random because they didn't appear to be employees (this particular woman asked what type of ultrasound I was having and also wanted to know if I was pregnant...was all of this really her business?). We found our way to the second floor, and again I felt my anxiousness rising as there were signs on the walls posting genetic testing and counseling. Ugh! In my mind I thought, the doctors said they weren't concerned about this and now I'm in a place with walls plastered with genetic information. We went to sign-in and a sign was posted someone would return at 1:00. Well...our appointment was for 1:00, but the information we had said we needed to arrive at 12:30 to fill out paperwork. More confusion. I found a nurse and she said we needed to be in yet another location to register. We headed for the elevators, and I couldn't fight it anymore...tears! I told BJ I couldn't help it because I was so tense and the lack of communication was stressing me out. We filled out the paperwork and I cried. The woman in registration was trying to assist by telling me that everything would be ok and not to worry. I appreciated her efforts, but I really didn't want to hear it. I wanted to cry and just release all that stress.

So...we then went back to the 2nd floor and waited...and waited...and waited. Considering they returned from lunch at 1 and our appointment was at 1, I just assumed we'd get in quickly. They came to get us from the waiting room at about 1:25. Finally! Our technician wasn't super personable, you could tell she was an "all business" kind of gal. At one point when I laughed, she told me to hold still. I quickly learned that a Level II did not mean "more detailed" as in a better visual or picture, but rather more scientific in nature. This was not one of those cutesy 20 week ultrasounds where you leave with a picture of a foot, a picture of a hand, a cute little profile....rather we were immediately looking at the parts of the brain, the folds on the back of the neck, the length of the nose, the spine, the kidneys, chambers of the heart, etc. Now, don't get me wrong, I want to know this information too, but I feel sort of disappointed. I have friends with sweet little profiles of their babies and we just didn't get that. Rather we received one picture that included a straight on picture of Baby T with some big ol' glaring eyes! Honestly, I said, "sort of creepy" when I saw it. In general, Baby T wanted nothing to do with this appointment. Baby T had wide open eyes, arms closed, and legs closed tightly! All of that says to me, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

During the appointment, Mr. Thomason (aka, Daddy) changed his mind and decided he wanted to know the gender. However, if you noticed above...those little legs were closed tightly. The technician said she wasn't sure, but did make a guess. We're not telling right now. Perhaps we'll have another ultrasound for some reason to confirm.

Regarding the cyst, the technician told us she couldn't see anything and would go get the doctor. Now this was slightly concerning because we were told the doctor is not called unless there is a problem. The doctor came in and she even showed us the point of entry of the umbilical cord and she followed along it's path as far as she could. She said she could not see anything, but seemed slightly annoyed that she hadn't been sent pictures from the other doctors as a reference to where it had been seen. In her opinion, there is nothing there and said she could have set our minds at ease some time ago! Oh well. At least it is gone, and they did not see any other concerns. Thank goodness! I can't even express how much pressure has been taken off my shoulders! I feel like I can finally breathe. It's been such a long wait, and I'm so glad the cyst is GONE!!!

What a day!!! *19 weeks*

Today when I got home from work we had three messages on our voicemail, which is rare because we typically just give people our cell numbers. One of the three was a message from our doctor letting me know that I was NEGATIVE for Cystic Fibrosis! Woohoo! I had a test come back negative! Yes! At least that is one less thing to worry about!

Also, I've been concerned about where we were going to take little Baby T when I return to work in the fall. You hear so many horror stories about daycare providers, and I just wanted to find someone that would care for Baby T as if they were their own. One of our neighbors who lives directly across the street has an in-home daycare and we'd contemplated this as an option for quite some time. I'd gotten more nervous recently as I watched people carrying carriers into their house each morning when I'd leave for work. So, today when I got home from work I asked BJ if he would want to run across the street and even see if this was still an option. Baby T would be one of four kiddos all of them relatively young. She won't require us to pay on holidays, nor for my time off from school (summer break included). This is a pretty big deal as most places make you pay, which makes sense since this is their income. She keeps logs of when she changes diapers and when the babies are fed. She said she provides what she would want for her own kids. So happy! It's going to be so convenient to take Baby T across the street each morning, and also know they will be with someone that we have come to know relatively well.

Let's hope tomorrow is just as positive a day! :)

Movement??? *18 weeks, 1 day*

I had another monthly appointment today. They had asked if I had felt the baby move and I couldn't really report that I had. Following my appointment, I went grocery shopping and noticed this persistent feeling in my lower abdomen every few seconds. It's hard to explain what it felt like, maybe like when you're nervous before a big event and you feel butterflies in your stomach. It only lasted a few minutes in length. I'm not even 100% sure that is what I was feeling. I'll be waiting for more movement. I was able to hear the baby's heart beat again today. It was 160 beats per minute. It's always reassuring to hear that sound especially in these days when I don't really feel pregnant. Of course, the growing buldge in my belly is a constant reminder. :)

The Level II is just one week away. I asked the nurse practitioner today if the technician will be able to tell us if they see anything on my umbilical cord. She said they are not supposed to share that information, but if there was something of concern then a doctor at St. Mary's would come in to talk to us. Otherwise, we'll be waiting to hear back from the local doctor. I'm just so very eager to find out if it is there for not. I'm still hoping it is long gone and I can put these worries behind me.

All the results of my blood test, despite the elevated white blood cell count, came back normal. They weren't able to tell me the results of the cystic fibrosis testing, but I'm hoping to hear back on that in the near future. I'll give blood again later this month to see if the infection is gone and my white blood cell count is back to normal.

I'd felt some concerns with our doctor, especially regarding communication, and I shared them today. I do believe those concerns were heard and addressed. It made me feel better about things, and I think for now we'll stick with this doctor.

Blah!!!

It's amazing to me that just yesterday I was thinking about life in general, and the fact that at this point next year I'll have a 6 month old in my life! It's completely surreal and I'm not sure I'm able to fully grasp what that will be like. In fact, I think about how different things will be. Even as I put away Christmas decorations today I found myself taking more care in doing so than I have in years past in an attempt to be as organized as possible since they'll be a little person that will require attention during the process next year.

While wrapping up snowmen, the phone rang and it was Dr. Midkiff's Office. Honestly sometimes I look at the number and think, "what do they want?" I'm sort of bitter right now anyway because I don't always feel like I'm getting the individualized and personal experience that I want and think I deserve. In the back of my mind I was hoping that they were calling to remind me of my appointment this coming Wednesday (1/7), although I also recognized that the phone call would have been a bit premature for their typical reminders. It was the nurse calling to let me know they received the results of my blood test and my white cell count is off. She wanted to know if I had been sick when I went in for the test. I told her that I hadn't been to my knowledge. This isn't the first frustrating phone call that I've received, as a couple weeks ago they called to tell me they found bacteria in my urine. Upon some questioning I was informed that this was a urinary tract infection and I had to take a round of antibiotics. Apparently these are relatively common during pregnancy and I was told that all would be okay, although these infections can cause pre-term labor. The nurse today said that perhaps the white cell count was indicating that I still have the urinary tract infection. I'll take another urine test at my appointment this week.

It's just so frustrating to continuously feel like there is always something else wrong. I realize that at this point, I don't have any valid reason for being upset, but I just want a "normal" pregnancy. I don't think that's too much to ask. The part that is always somewhat amusing to me is that when I ask the nurse on the phone questions, they act as if I'm wanting to know how it impacts me. Seriously? My thoughts are always immediately drawn to how it could ultimately impact the baby. Ugh!

Our level 2 sonogram is looming in the near future and is causing me to be tense. I find myself walking through the house chanting in my mind, "it will be gone" in regard to the cyst. I need it to be gone for my own peace of mind. I try SO hard not to let all these medical things get to me, but it's so scary to think of there being something wrong with the baby. I'm anxious to just see Baby T again. It also worries me that the technician won't be able to tell us what they see on 1/14 during the level 2 and we'll have to wait to hear the results when I'm back with my local doctor two weeks later. I can recognize that patience isn't my best virtue, but I'm really aching for answers right now. I guess you don't really know everything is as it should be until the baby is here. Of course, afterward I have a lifetime of worries ahead of me. I've always known I'll do anything I can to help ensure the health and safety of my child, but it's so hard right now when I have no control.